Been Almost A Year Since I Left For Iraq

Internet access is here and there at best. I check my e-mail a few times a week, but never really thought about leaving a blog post until today. But I got the chance, so I thought I'd take advantage, what the hell, might as well.

September 24th, 2007 I said goodbye. I shipped out on September 25th. I asked my longtime friend, Doug (Mr. Political Pistachio himself), to take care of my site while I was gone. Thanks for the shitty job, Doug. You have failed me greatly. But I love ya anyhow.

As a former SEAL, I think I look at this war zone differently than the new recruit troops, and the average civilian contractor. But one thing I can say is, I have been to this region a number of times in my life, and I have never seen such optimism in the people of Iraq as I do now. Losing a dictator has a positive effect on the people, it seems. New facilities and better standards of living, thanks to the American military, is appreciated, I think.

I am slated to return before Christmas, but the exact date is not known. It is possible I will have to stay here longer. Having no family, aside from my grown up son, the possibilities are limitless.

Now a few messages to people since it is easier to do it this way than send out a bunch of e-mails:

Kirby, my son, miss you greatly. Hope school has been good for you, college can be tough. Don't give your mom grief, no matter what she says about me. I will send you an e-mail in a bit.

Doug, I miss the good cooking when I visit you, and the wild show of watching you and Virginia interact. You guys are a hoot. I pray for your safety, brother. Oh, and your show, when we can listen, is pretty popular here. Keep up the good work. Oh, and no, you are not going to get me on your show as a guest. Don't ask. Unless you are willing to go skydiving with us. And don't give me that "medical reasons" shit. For a cripple, you move pretty good. Think about it. Nothing like the freedom of falling to Earth.

Chad, Miss the good surfing. I don't care what time of year it is when I get back, we are hitting the waves. I miss the California girls, too. All I have here is military chicks I can't touch, and locals that, if they show even their ankle, are called whores. And I don't give a shit what you keep saying, I am going to get you on the back of a bull before you die. If Doug and I can handle riding bulls, you can. It's like surfing, but in a hurricane, sitting on your ass, on a pissed-off board that is trying to kick your ass off, and then kill you. Good fun.

Scott, absolutely, we are sky diving the first chance we get when I get home. You and I and Bunker will drag Doug's ass to the plane if we have to. He's pussed out on jumping too many times. Fuck him, he's diving with us.

Bunker, I don't care how liberal you are, or how close you live to Doug, your "Ballbuster Says" crap in ALL CAPS is fucking annoying. No wonder everybody deletes your shit. The CAPS thing is rude, and the third person shit is starting to become creepy. Keep that shit up and I will have Scott find your ass in Murrieta and kick your ass all the way back to San Diego. Scott knows where you live.

Anti-War Liberal shit-heads, Fuck You and your bullshit opinion. I have seen the enemy, and he wants all of us fucking dead. And when someone wants you dead the only way to protect yourself is to kill the fucker before he kills you. That's how we roll. Don't like it? Fine, stick your heads in the sand and hand over your guns to the government, or whatever it is you want to do. In the end, despite the fact that you are stupid fucks, the United States Military will still protect your ass, and kill the enemy. Just remember that. Your liberty to be an asshole has been given to you on a silver platter, bought by the blood of my brothers.

Loon, thanks for the e-mails. I appreciate any that I get. You are a sweetheart for sending them. I hope you are safe, and it is so cool that there are some folks in Canada that aren't members of the insane left.

Merrill, quit sending me the bitchy e-mails. You are starting to sound like a member of Code Pink. Don't make me find you and kick your ass.

Steve, yeah, you are right, Tom likes to rip on me, but not as much as he likes to rip on Doug. That's because Doug is an easier target. I, however, am an asshole with an attitude, so that tends to keep people from trying to flex their muscles at me.

Tom, thanks for the send-off and words of encouragement, I appreciated it. It did surprise me, though, considering that normally you are a grade-A asshole with only grade 5 nuts.

Freedom Fighter, Your encouragement was very welcome. Thanks, despite your past comments that essentially questioned my history with the SEALS. That's okay, I question a lot of people's membership in the human race, myself.

Debra J.M. Smith, After communicating with you a few times by BlogTalkRadio messaging, your comments have proven to me that you are paranoid, batshit crazy, and give a bad name to Christians with your Christian Activism bullshit. And I find it interesting that ever since your problems with Josh and Doug, claiming they are not really Christians, or whatever it was, you are the one still talking about it, and they aren't. What does that say about you? Hmmmm?

Jason Bootie, Doug thinks highly of you. I never did thank you for your send-off last year. It was greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Phil, keep up the ass-kicking, my friend. Your "take no shit from anybody" attitude kicks ass. Fuck what Doug's been telling you about being diplomatic (he told me about that shit - I'm gonna kick his ass when I get home if he starts acting politically correct). Kick ass, take names, sort out the liberal shit-heads later.

Anybody I forgot, sorry. I love you just the same.

Anybody I didn't forget, Fuck you. I didn't mention your ass on purpose. Don't like it? Blow me.

See ya'll later this year. I may take the time to add to my blog again before I return. I sure am not going to depend on Doug to hold down the fort anymore. He's acting like he's too damn busy to piss on me if I was on fire.

And I am so fucking sick of all of this fucking weird dirt. Can't wait to get home, throw off my shoes, and run through some good ol' American grown grass and dip my body in the Pacific Ocean. And I miss bikini watching too. Save a plate of chips and salsa and a shot of tequila for me, I will drinking with you all soon. Damn, I miss the good booze.